Life is filled with suffering but it is also filled with many wonders, like the blue sky the sunshine, the eyes of a baby. To suffer is not enough. We must also be in touch with the wonders of life. They are within us and all around us, everywhere, any time.
– Thich Nhat Hanh
Mindfulness is a way of being, not a way of thinking about things, but a way of actually being with life and what is. As we become aware of what is happening in each moment of our day, life becomes richer, more satisfying and we become more able to consciously choose how to respond and behave.
These days it is common to experience the world as busy and rushed. There’s a lot of busyness out there, and busyness inside our minds! For most of us our minds are full of chatter, chatter, chatter and there is no stillness or openness, just a lot of noise! We live inside our worries, concerns, and judgements. As a result our thinking and actions become habitual and unconscious and our world get very small and closed in. When we experience the world as busy and rushed we not only live with stress but we get the impression that we have no choice.
Mindfulness is about paying attention and noticing what is happening in the moment without getting caught up in thoughts that actually get in the way of what is real. It is a kind of awareness that goes beyond conceptual thinking about what is happening to directly experiencing it! By learning to observe what is happening without attaching a judgement we become able to see more clearly what is really going on so that choice becomes clearer and our lives become less stressful.
We practice mindfulness to become aware of what is really happening both inside ourselves and in the world around us, not just what we think is happening. Our thoughts often deceive us. There is a saying that goes, “You can’t believe everything you think.” Only when we know what is really happening are we able to live consciously and be more choice-full about how we want to live.
So right now take a breath, feel your breath, and notice that right now there is nothing you have to do, but be here. You don’t even have to breath because your body breathes all on its own! Notice anything that is occupying your mind, any worries or concerns that you have and know that you are in exactly the right place at the right time right now.
Mindfulness is an ancient spiritual practice and is most evident in the Buddhist practice of Vipassana. But mindfulness is not about becoming a Buddhist and it’s not about religion. It is about developing wisdom and a deeper understanding of ourselves and of life. By cultivating moment to moment attentiveness there begins to emerge a sweet awareness that is not about concepts. Instead it is the direct participation in the fullness of life and appreciation for each moment that we are alive regardless of what is happening. Have you ever been suddenly moved by the beauty of a sunset or the smell of a rose? Those are moments of mindful awareness and direct participation in the world around you.
Life isn’t all sunsets and roses. Sometimes it can be excruciatingly difficult to accept what is happening in the moment because it can be scary or painful. If we are busy thinking about what is wrong with our experience we may miss what is most valuable in our lives and fail to realize the richness and depth of our possibilities. We often fill our time with activities to avoid experiencing what is really going on, or we numb our feelings with alcohol, drugs, TV, shopping, or eating to name a few. These things may work for a while, but if they are used habitually they become addictions and our actions and behaviours become unconscious and driven unknowingly by that which we do not want to face or accept. Using mindfulness, first we notice and with compassion acknowledge the addictive behaviour. Then as the difficult experiences are accepted as part of the ever changing dance of being a full human being, there begins to emerge a sense of wholeness and clarity.
For example: I get very nervous and afraid if I am speaking in front of a group, especially when I first started teaching. Using mindfulness I notice my nervousness and then notice if I am judging myself about the nervousness. It was not okay for me to express myself as a child. Most of us, when we are children, are not allowed to say no and exert our will, that was certainly my experience. In fact not only was I discouraged in expressing my independence but it seemed as though the result would be so wrathful that as a little child it felt like my existence was threatened. This is an example of the kind of fear that drives the unconscious behaviour of being afraid to be in front of a group and share what I know to be true. I don’t try to push the fear away. By allowing myself to face that fear and grieve for the little girl I am able to move beyond the unconscious fear and really be with the experience of teaching. Sometimes the fear comes up again and again and that just becomes part of the experience so that eventually I am not fearful, and I can be truly present and able to share my gifts with others.
Mindfulness is not about being in a constant state of bliss. It is about experiencing what is real so we do not get stuck and out of touch with ourselves. Mindfulness gives us a way to safely be with what is real, as an observer, so we can get unstuck and back in touch with our wisdom and vitality. We are all ordinary human beings having ordinary experiences, and it is what we consider the ordinary experiences that with mindfulness can become our greatest source of joy.
Our culture does not encourage being with what is ordinary and real. We are constantly bombarded with diversions and more and more noise with which to fill our minds. Because there are so many thoughts and impulses running through our minds it can feel as though we are caught in a raging river that carries our lives to places we may not want to go. The river is what is happening in your mind. It is the constant stream of judging and reacting to inner and outer experiences. Learning to be mindful is like stepping out of the raging river and sitting calmly by the bank, watching with curiosity and learning from all that is going by. We can then use this information to guide us rather then control us unknowingly. The idea is not to stop the river from flowing or make it go faster – trying to stop our mind from thinking is just using more thinking – we want to sit on the bank and watch with gentle appreciation and calm attentiveness. When we take a step back and get out of the river of our minds we can see more clearly what is really happening. We can actually experience the world as it is. Soon we will find a natural compassion growing for ourselves and for others.
For Example: Jon Kabat-Zinn describes a poster that has a picture of a swami who is probably in his seventies, with a long white beard and flowing robes. In this picture the Swami is riding a surf board in the waves off a beach on Hawaii. Take a moment now to imagine this picture. The caption underneath reads: You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn how to surf.
Practicing mindfulness will allow us to be more open to our full potential, and the beauty and joy of living. The intention is to become fully present to our experience, whatever it is, including: thoughts, images, memories, breathing, body sensations, sounds, smells, tastes, moods, feelings. It is not so much what we are noticing that matters, but the quality of awareness we bring to the noticing. This awareness can lead to great insight, healing, and joyful participation in life.
About the Author: Lana Marie Willow was born and raised in Victoria BC. Her extensive studies include transpersonal psychology, eastern philosophy, and indigenous spiritual practices. She is a registered clinical counsellor in private practice, and specialises in mindfulness based body-centered psychotherapy and creative expression for healing and expansion of consciousness.
